Super Paper Mario w/ Jazz, Episode 11: Papr Pech Returns

Super Paper Mario w/ Jazz, Episode 11: Papr Pech Returns


Katt: Spoiler warning! This series is not spoiler-free, so if you haven’t experienced Super Paper Mario before, this may not be the series for you. If you have seen it, or just don’t care about spoilers, then please enjoy. Katt: So now we do want to advance the text. Jazz: Yes. Jazz: Unlike our initial…
Katt: Yep. Jazz: Round.
*Katt chuckles* Katt: Back to Papr Pech to start again. Jazz: Yep. Good ol’ Papr Pech. *Katt chuckles* Katt: Start by immediately checking the tower’s vibes. Jazz: Yup. As- As we do. Katt: Now, I believe we can immediately go to Chapter 3 now, right? Jazz: I think so, yeah. Katt: …get that mouse off your screen as much as I can. Katt: …’cause I’m sure that would drive you crazy. Katt: Uh…. dadadadadadadaaa… Katt: One of these days those lag spikes will stop.
Jazz: Yeah. Jazz: Hopefully.
Katt: Once I get another drive, hopefully. Jazz: Were these other heroes somewhere in the new world? If not, where? Meanwhile, the creeping void grew larger in the skies above Flipside. Katt: The minute we turn our back, it grows. *Jazz laughs* Jazz: Pretty much, yeah. Jazz: Can’t turn our backs on it for one second. *Katt laughs* Katt: That black hole… It’s.. it’s such a problem, man. The minute you turn your back on it, it’s eaten – it’s eaten another world. Like, come on.
Jazz (being talked over): It’s so much trouble. Jazz: I know, right? Ugh. *Both girls laugh* Katt: Also, this is, like, one of my favourite chapters. But- Jazz: It’s a good one.
Katt: Main- Chapter boss aside, like, the aesthetic of this chapter is really nice. Jazz: Oh, yeah, definitely. Jazz: Even if Francis is, just. The worst.
Katt: Francis. Katt: Francis is just Francis. Jazz: Fuck Francis. Katt: Exactly. Jazz: Please don’t fuck Francis, actually.
Katt: No, don’t give him the satisfaction. Jazz: No. Jazz: We’re- we’re gonna leave him voiceless, right? Like, there’s no way. Katt: We’re- No. I don’t-
Jazz: We’re not gonna grace him with that. Katt: Exactly. Katt: Like, I think it would physically hurt me. To do his voice. It would physically hurt me.
Jazz: Understandable. Jazz: Yeah. Alright. Jazz (as Peach): Tippi?
Well… well- what’s this? Katt: I wonder- I wonder.
Jazz: The Peach voice is rusty, oh no. Jazz: Whoa-ho-ho. A kidnapping. Jazz: Oh, the despair. The awful spectacle of it all. Katt: I just tapped my mic, I’m sorry.
Jazz: ‘S alright. Jazz: The shocking scene occurred right before my very own tender eyes! Jazz: Well, I guess that’s a wrap for that Pixl. Now that Fra- that freak Francis got her. Katt: He’s like, “Welp, shit. She’s fucked.”
Jazz: “Sucks to be her.” Katt: *laughing* Pretty much, yeah. Jazz: Wha-ho! Who’s this guy? A friend of the butterfly girl that got nabbed? Katt: Ah, I see we’ve met the sun. Jazz: Well, that’s a pity. Jazz: That geek grabbed her? Francis? Basically the nerd to end all nerds. Jazz: He’s gonna kill us all.
*Katt laughs* Jazz: Plus, he’s got this thing for butterflies, and, well, all things nerdy, too.
Katt: If he wanted to, he could end the world. Katt: He could create lifeforms and end the world. He just chooses to not. Jazz: He collects stuff and keeps it in his big fantasy fortress. It’s like a geek paradise, since he refuses to do anything else. Jazz (as Peach): Where is this Fort Francis? Katt (also as Peach): My crown wants to know. *Laughter* Jazz: Well, if you go all the way down for miles and miles, you’ll find it. Jazz: You’re not thinking of infiltrating the nerd lair and rescuing her, are you? Katt: I mean, compared to- compared to Bowser, Francis probably doesn’t scare her.
Jazz: Yeah. Jazz: Look, nobody likes having their butterfly kidnapped by a geek, but it’s dangerous. Jazz: That’s the best line in this chapter. Jazz: Still set on it, eh? Whaaat a tender moment. I think I got something in my eye here. Jazz: Listen. Lemme give ya some travel tips. Jazz: You listening? … Good. Jazz: All I got for you is three critical tips, so remember all of ’em. Katt: The red things are important. That’s all of your tips.
Jazz: Yup. Jazz: Red, red, red. Jazz: If it’s not red, screw it. Jazz: It’s not important. Katt: Vibe check it. You gotta vibe check it.
*Jazz laughs* Jazz: Y’ gotta check vibes on that red. Jazz: Is.. it.. uh.. a rancid red? Jazz: You can’t know for sure unless you check it.
Katt: Ye. Jazz: …God, I wish I had not just said “check it” ’cause I realized- Katt: I didn’t-
Jazz: Now I’m just remembering that freaking gif I made, oh no. Katt: Oh- I know what you’re talking about. Jazz: Yes. Katt: I half want to edit int- edit it into the video just to curse the audience.
Jazz: Do it, coward! Katt: You want me to edit it into the video right behind Barry Just to curse the audience? Jazz (dying of laughter): ABSOLUTELY! Katt: Excellent. Alright. Katt: That will- that will definitely get done. Katt: Sometime next century when I edit these.
Jazz: Yes. Katt: Honestly, what I might start doing, actually, is, have Sundays be recording days just so it’s a scheduled, set thing that will actually happen. Jazz: Alright.
Katt: ‘Cause we’ve been on hiatus for about, like, a month at this point. Katt: It’ll definitely be longer by the time this actually comes out. Jazz: Oh, definitely, yeah.
Katt: …what button did I set to that? Katt: Oh! Katt: Right. C-Left and C-Right are my… are my plus and minus.
Jazz: Alright. Katt: ‘Cause I’m using an actual GameCube controller. Jazz: Fun. Now we’ve gotta memorize the controls all over again.
Katt: Yup. Katt: It never ends. Katt: Oh, right. Jazz: Just fall off the cliff. Jazz: ‘S fine. Katt: Well, the game is lagging a bit more than it was before. Oh, boy. Jazz: Hm. Katt: Welp, those guys are dead. Jazz: Yup. Katt: Holy shit. Katt: Oh, god, that’s hard on the ears. I may have to mute that and put the sound in in editing. Jazz: Hm. Katt: No, that… Shit, ’cause that’ll mute our voices. Dammit! Jazz: Woops. Katt: Next time what we need to do is record our audio separate from the game. Jazz: Yeah. That might be a good idea. Katt: I dared to install one new thing. It was, like, an RPG Maker. And apparently that is just too much for it. Jazz: Oh no. Katt: Now, see, the problem is, to uninstall it, I would have to start Steam, and that would… lag everything to hell. Jazz: Yeah. Katt: Check it out, it’s Wii Fit. Jazz: Yup. Katt: …maybe it’s supposed to be dancing, but it looks like Wii Fit to me. Jazz: It does kinda look like Wii Fit, yeah. Jazz: Sir, your vibes are rancid.
*Katt laughs* Katt: I don’t even know if we need Minus for the rest of the game. Jazz: Hm. Jazz: We’ll see. Katt: I think it’s just that one puzzle. Katt: Oh, fantastic. Katt: ‘course you can’t actually get up there.
That would be too helpful. Katt: Shit. Jazz: There we go. Jazz: Not that button. Katt:Hey, we got a.. got.. got a Smash Brothers character. Jazz: Yup. Jazz: How exclusive. Katt: I hope that lawnmower isn’t being picked up by the– Katt: We’re just now seeing this.
Jazz: Yea, that’s… Katt: Okay, that noise has got to go away. Katt: …Where do the other warp zones take you? Katt: I don’t remember. Jazz: I don’t know. It has been a while since I’ve, like, seen… this chapter, so… Katt: Totally necessary umbrella. Jazz: Yup. Katt: Oh, wow, that one brick stayed broken. Jazz: Mhm. Katt: Alright, let’s go to World 3.
…Oh, wait… Katt: Oh, this is where we were supposed to go. Shit. Jazz: Oops.
Katt: Oh well. Katt: He just killed that guy! Jazz: Wow. That’s cold. Katt: And then he gets sent into the… Warp-Away Zone. Jazz: Oh? Katt: Have fun in hell.
Jazz: *unintelligible* …he just kicked it over the pipe! Jazz: That’s not that football, dude. Jazz: Wrong move. Katt: Hmh. Katt: Oh, so I guess the World 3 one was supposed to be a shortcut. Jazz: Hm. Katt: Then where’s this one take you? Katt: Oh.
Jazz: Here, apparently. Jazz: Oh? *Jazz laughs*
Katt: God! Jazz: You’re selecting Peach again! Jazz: There we go. Jazz: Hopefully the controller problems don’t last too long. Katt: Hopefully.
Jazz: ‘Cause, good god, that, uh… instruction screen is getting pulled up a lot. Katt: This is the most… most it gets- ever gets seen in the entire game.
Jazz: Yeah. Katt: Giving that instruction screen the long-deserved love it- it always needed.
Jazz: Yup. Jazz: I mean, if no one else is gonna love it, we have to. Katt: I guess. Katt: I guess, yeah. Katt: Errrm… Katt: Really should’ve made a backup file! Katt: I wasn’t thinking about that! Shit! Katt: Not right now. Katt: I might regret that later. Katt: I don’t think so, for this boss, though. Jazz: Hopefully, we won’t regret it. ‘Cause that’d be bad. Katt: Yeah. Jazz: Hm? Katt: Half expected you to do the voice. Jazz: Nah, not right now. Jazz: Just not feeling this guy.
*Katt laughs* Jazz: Don’t care for his weird bald head. Katt: This Morton Koopa Jun- Jr. wannabe. Jazz: Yeah, with his… I don’t like how pink it is. Katt: Yeah, that’s kinda true.
Jazz: I don’t know why it’s pink. It’s- Katt: Without the eyebrows, his eyes are just, like, neutral, and now I can’t unsee it.
Jazz: Oh, god. Katt: Like, the eyebrows make his entire expression.
Jazz: Yeah. Katt: And I can just see the texture underneath… Katt: No reason I tried to guard in the air. We don’t exactly have that ability yet. Jazz: Nope. Jazz: Geez, we’re not doing so hot, are we?
Katt: Not really, no. Katt: Oh, hello. Katt: We’re doing this, huh? Jazz: There you go. Katt: Oh, the game did not like that.
Jazz: Oh no. Jazz: Yeeow. Katt: I wonder if Bowser’s actually up there, if you could somehow be able to get out of bounds and get up there. Jazz: Hm. I dunno.
Katt: Like, if you cheated your way to have Luigi early, if he would actually be standing up there. Jazz: I would not know. Katt (As Bowser…?): I don’t know where I could recognize this guy from. Jazz: *laughs* No clue, ah? Katt: The game did that itself, by the way.
Jazz: Yeah? Katt: How’s the thing working? Do you get, like… ..are you getting, like, weird hiccupy issues again, or…? Jazz: Um, it’s actually kind of looking higher quality than it did most of the time we were recording last time? You do have the cursor on the screen, though, which is… Yeah.
Katt: Oh, for god’s sake. Alright. Jazz: Yeah, other than that, it’s pretty fine. Katt: Oh, I forgot how annoying this fight actually is. Jazz: *laughs* She’s just standing still, stunned. She can’t even see any of this.
*Katt vocalizing to the music* *Katt vocalizing to the music* Katt: Which ver- I think that’s the World 8, um, Mario 3 theme, that’s used as an under… as an, as, like, a bass line for that?
Jazz: Huh. Jazz: Hm.
Katt: Mario’s eyebrows are also overlaid over his eyes.
Jazz: Yes. Jazz (as Peach): Are you okay? Jazz (as Peach): Your… WIFE?! Jazz: Peach… The rust is coming up again, oh no. Jazz: I’ll have to use this voice again at some point, I dunno when. Katt: *laughs* God. Katt (as Bowser?): What? Are you kidding me? How could you forget our big day? Katt: What the hell is this voice? This is not Bowser.
Jazz (as Peach): I was brainwashed, Bowser! Jazz (as Peach): That sham was not a wedding! Katt: I dunno what this voice is, but it’s not Bowser. Jazz: Join me in the rust zone.
Katt: I guess, yeah. Jazz (as Peach): What are you doing here anyway, Bowser? Katt (as Bowser?): How should I know? I was locked up Katt (as Bowser) in Count Bleck’s stupid castle-
Katt: There we go, it’s starting to come back. Jazz: Gotta get that gravel in. Katt (as Bowser): *clears throat* When all of a sudden, BAM! Me and the minions wake up facedown in this field. Katt (as Bowser):Then we found this awesome castle, and I thought, why not make myself a lair? And then you ruined everything! Jazz (as Peach): That’s too bad, Bowser. You see… We really need your help. Why don’t you come with us? Katt (as Bowser): WHAT?! How does that make any sense? *laughter* Jazz (as Peach): Mario will explain it to you in much better words! Katt (as Bowser): Oh, I see, so you… pissed off a heart with a really… *stumbles over words* Katt (as Bowser): …really particular taste in fandom. Oh, god. Jazz (as Peach): Yes, and that is why we need you to help us find the Pure Hearts. Katt (as Bowser): Well, screw you! Katt (as Bowser): I’m offended!
Jazz: That cloud really doesn’t wanna participate. Katt: Yeah. *laughs* Katt: This cloud really hates Mario! *Laughter* Jazz (as Peach): We don’t have time for you to be a big baby about this! Come on, Bowser… Please? Katt (as Bowser): But I’m Bowser! I’m grade-A, 100% prime-cut final boss! I’m going to take over the world any day now! Jazz: I forgot about this line. Jazz: This chapter just has a lot of good lines.
Katt: This line’s on your blog! Katt: That line’s on your blog. Jazz: I forgot it was from this chapter, is what I meant. Katt: Okay, fair enough.
Jazz: Yeah. Jazz: But yeah, lots of good-
There are some good lines in this chapter, despite Francis.
Katt: Despite Francis, yes. Katt: Oh, god, the pre-boss cutscene… It’s coming back, and I’m like, uhhlurghh. Jazz: Oh, well, we’re gonna have to experience that, so. Katt: Yeah.
Jazz: Yayyy. Katt: I could see Bow- the edge of Bowser’s eye, under his eyelid when his eyes were closed, and it was really bothering me. Jazz: Oh no. Jazz (as Peach): And what will happen to you poor minions who were caught by Count Bleck? They’ve been brainwashed! They do HIS evil bidding, not your evil bidding… Now your minions will have to toil under a different cruel and merciless master! Katt: You know, for someone who supposedly car- gives a fuckton of a care about his minions, th- that really should’ve come to him immediately. Jazz: Yeah. He’s too busy being self-centered right now, though. Katt (as Bowser): I did it, I got a Pure Heart! That’s what that animation means, right? Jazz (as Bowser): ‘S in my chest! Katt (as Bowser): I wanna punch things, but I can’t punch things in this game, and it makes me sad. Jazz (as Peach): Alright, Bowser. You big sweetie… Katt: Bowser’s so pissed about this. While the game’s so happy. Jazz: Yup. Jazz: He doesn’t wanna, but the game’s gonna make him anyway.
Katt: Yeah. Katt (as Bowser): What… oh yeah. Minions, hold down the- the- the remains of the fort until I return. Jazz: Yeah, there isn’t much left, huh? Jazz: What remains of your lair is safe with us, sir! Oh, and it seems Count Bleck has brainwashed some of your loyal henchpeople. Katt (as Bowser): Not that e… I ALREADY KNEW THAT! WE JUST HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT IT! Jazz: Well, I couldn’t hear it, sir! They’re probably gonna be forced to fight you or whatever. Of course, we’d love to come along and defend you, but, uh… Katt: Can you-
Jazz: …we only have, like, a handful of HP. Katt: I was gonna say, can you imagine if this game played like Bowser’s Minions, and Bowser just had a bunch of enemies around him? At all times? Jazz: Oh, that’d be somethin’. Katt: That would be amazing, is what it would be. Katt (as Bowser): I don’t even get to do that! Jazz: Well, we don’t know that, sir, but long live you I guess! Jazz: We’ll miss you-
Katt: PARRRTY! Jazz: Parrty! Jazz: Boss is gone. Time to just… slack off. I mean, the fort can’t get any worse than it is. Katt: I guess, yeah. He didn’t actually tell them to rebuild it, so they can just do whatever.

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