Translator – SNL

Translator – SNL


>>>GOOD MORNING.
INOTECH RESEARCH IS PLEASED TO WELCOME YOU, TO WHAT WE BELIEVE,
WILL BE A VERY EXCITING PRESENTATION.
>>WELL, IT BETTER BE. THIS PROJECT IS, WHAT,
$18 MILLION OVER BUDGET?>>UH, YES, BUT THANKS TO YOUR
PATIENCE AS WELL AS YOUR INVESTMENT WE ARE THRILLED TO
ANNOUNCE NEAR COMPLETION ON THE X5 PROTOTYPE.
>>NEAR COMPLETION? SO WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE GOING TO
SEE HERE?>>WELL, IF ALL GOES WELL,
EXACTLY WHAT WE PROMISED. USING EEG CENSORING AND BRAIN
INTERFACING WE WILL DO WHAT HAS NEVER BEEN DONE, SCAN THE
HOUSEHOLD PET’S MIND TO TRANSLATE HIS THOUGHTS INTO
WORDS. NOW THE SUBJECT TODAY WILL BE MY
OWN DOG, MAX. LOOKS LIKE HE’S READY.
>>LET’S SEE IT.>>MAX, HERE WE GO.
>>EEG SIGNAL 100%. VITALS ARE NORMAL.
OKAY. WE HAVE MIND LINK.
>>OKAY, MAX. THIS IS IT.
MAX, SPEAK. [ GIBBERISH ]
>>BRILLIANT.>>HANG ON.
IT WORKED. I SWEAR, JUST BOOST THE SIGNAL,
MAX, SPEAK.>>WOOF, WOOF.
HI. I’M MAX.
IT’S ME, MAX.>>OH, MY GOD.
>>I LIKE TO PLAY BALL. I LIKE PURPLE BIRD IN THE
WINDOW.>>LOOK, I THINK HE MEANS THE
PIGEON. HE’S NEVER SPOKEN THIS MUCH
BEFORE. MAX, WHAT ELSE DO YOU LIKE?
>>I LIKE PARK, AND LEASH, AND I LIKE TRUMP.
HE’S MY MAN.>>WAIT.
WHAT?>>WHAT DID YOUR DOG JUST SAY?
>>IT MUST BE A TRANSLATION ERROR, SOME KIND OF GLITCH.
>>THERE’S NO GLITCH. DONALD TRUMP IS OUR PRESIDENT.
HE CARRIED THE ELECTORAL COLLEGE FAIR AND SQUARE.
>>THIS CAN’T BE RIGHT. DID YOU KNOW YOUR DOG LIKES
TRUMP?>>HE DOESN’T.
>>I ABSOLUTELY DO. I KNOW TRUMP HAS ISSUES, BUT ONE
BIG CHANGE IS BETTER THAN BUSINESS AS USUAL.
>>OKAY, MAX, NO. YOU DROP THAT RIGHT NOW.
YOU DON’T LIKE TRUMP.>>THE DOW IS UP 2700 POINTS
SINCE HE WAS ELECTED. WHAT’S NOT TO LIKE?
>>YOUR DOG IS A MONSTER.>>NO, HE’S NOT.
JUST, LET ME TALK TO HIM. MAX, I’M SORRY.
BUT YOU’RE JUST A DOG. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE
TALKING ABOUT.>>EXCUSE ME, HELEN, BUT YES, I
DO. STINKING HELMET.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU PUT THIS ON ME.
IT’S JUST THAT CONDESCENDING ATTITUDE THAT MADE PEOPLE WANT
TO VOTE FOR TRUMP IN THE FIRST PLACE.
>>GET OVER HERE, MAX. THIS IS CRAZY.
OKAY? I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU’RE SAYING
THIS. YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BEST
FRIEND.>>AND AS YOUR FRIEND, I DON’T
WANT TO SEE YOUR TAX DOLLARS GOING TO HEALTH CARE FOR
ILLEGALS.>>YOUR DOG IS A JACK ASS.
>>NO! MAX, LISTEN, TRUMP IS BAD.
TRUMP IS A RACIST.>>WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT BLACK
PEOPLE? YOU NEVER BROUGHT ONE INTO OUR
HOUSE ONCE.>>REALLY?
>>NO. MAX, THAT IS NOT TRUE.
>>IT IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE, HELEN. PLUS, TRUMP IS THE ONLY ONE THAT
ISN’T OWNED BY WALL STREET.>>WHAT?
OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU INSANE?
MY HEAD’S GOING TO EXPLODE. WHAT ABOUT HIS RECORD ON WOMEN’S
RIGHTS? DON’T YOU WANT ME TO HAVE A
CHOICE OVER OUR OWN BODY?>>YOU DIDN’T AFFORD ME A CHOICE
WHEN YOU CUT OFF MY BALLS.>>MAX!
YOU DON’T KNOW ANYTHING. YOU’RE JUST A DOG.
YOU’RE JUST A DOG AND YOU PEE ON THE FLOOR.
>>AND YOU MASTURBATE OUT OF BOREDOM.
WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT
RIGHT NOW?>>WHOA.
>>MAX!>>YOU JUST ASSUME THAT BECAUSE
I’M A TRUMP SUPPORTER THAT I’M A XENOPHOBIC RACIST.
>>NO, I DON’T. YOUR BEST FRIEND AT THE DOG PARK
IS A CHIHUAHUA.>>SO?
>>THAT MEANS HE’S FROM MEXICO AND TRUMP WANTS TO KICK THEM OUT
OF THE COUNTRY.>>IF AQUITO WAS BORN HERE, HE
HAS NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. THIS IS A NATION OF LAWS.
>>ALL RIGHT, STAND BACK. I’M GONNA SHOOT HIM WITH THE GUN
I CARRY.>>DON’T MISS.
>>OH, FOR GOD’S SAKES. I CAN’T HAVE A CONVERSATION
WITHOUT YOU LIBERAL SNOWFLAKES —
>>ENOUGH! ENOUGH, ENOUGH.
SHUT UP, MAX. JUST SHUT YOUR DUMB MOUTH.
>>UH, THAT CONCLUDES THE DEMONSTRATION.
OBVIOUSLY WE HAVE SOME MORE WORK TO DO.
>>OBVIOUSLY.>>YEAH.
THIS WHOLE PROJECT IS ON THIN ICE.
THAT DOG IS A PROBLEM.>>IT’S OKAY, MAX.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. WE JUST HAVE TO LEARN TO RESPECT
EACH OTHER’S POINT OF VIEW, I GUESS.
NOW, LET’S GO FOR A WALK. OKAY?
PUT YOUR HAT ON. IT’S COLD.
THERE YOU GO. IT’S A GOOD THING YOU’RE CUTE,
YOU LITTLE DUMBASS. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

100 thoughts on “Translator – SNL”

  1. Um, the entire Operation Mockingbird is coming apart at the seems.

    These idiots colluded with pedos to overthrow our govt.

    Surrender now. There is no escape, just ask Andrew,

    #WWG1WGA

  2. Lol, she's willing to kill it because he has different political views.. what do you mean you think open borders is a bad idea? I'll murder you you nazi racist .

  3. Max's good acting skills, was probably him actually scared. You can see Scarlet, while still keeping good character was trying to comfort him lol

  4. I know it's a skit but willing to shoot someone with a gun just cause they support trump and why is a liberal carrying a gun? Lol

  5. Trump isn’t a monster what has he done wrong I’m 16 and I’m just going by what my mom and dad say but when I started looking at it trump had done nothing wrong

  6. I love how the Leftists first impulse is to shoot the dog and shut him up because they don't like what he has to say. That was very honest.

  7. This was a funny and promising for starters but when those dickhead suckers started to make a big number about trump it all failed. I dont love trump but it was either him or that other psycho feminist hag bitch that didint luckily win and until otherwise proven, trump won the election fair and square and i still havent seen any proof or court decisions that points toward fixed election so deal with it and shut the fuck up u little cunts

  8. My right-wing republican grandfather emailed this to me back in March 2017, and later he later died. It’s been sitting at the bottom of my inbox until now. Usually I didn’t open everything he sent me since a lot of it was stuff I didn’t care for, but he started to recognize and respect my tastes as he aged. I never archived that message because I like SNL and at least wanted to take a look. Well done, dead Grandpa!

  9. “You’ve never let a black person into our house”

    And apparently SNL didn’t think one was needed in the sketch.

  10. Is this a skit….or actually the way the intolerant left views the right?

    Nice work SNL. That must have been hard playing your real selves.

  11. "Plus, Trump is the only one that isn't owned by Wall Street."

    That dog IS dumb. But it makes sense why a Bulldog would support trump. They do represent Red States.

  12. Brovo dog……Love it!!!
    Dogs loves him … all people ahod too.
    That is the best skit SNL has done in 20 plus years

  13. All I see when I watch this is "Hi, my name is Willzyx. And I live on the moon!" from South Park with some guy holding a microphone in a hidden room.

  14. You could tell the dog was tearing up because the fur under its eyes were dark red. That happens to dogs. He seemed to to be bothered by the helmet. lol

  15. -Officer, officer, on my way home I had to stop, 'cause apparently something on my car was broken. All of a sudden a cow came out from the forest, straight up to me and said "I think the engine is gone". Can you imagine? It was a cow, a freaking speaking cow. I panicked and ran away.

    -Ma'am, calm down. Are you telling me that a cow approached you and said something about the alleged damage on your car?

    – That's exactly what I'm telling you, officer. It was a skinny cow with huge teats and a red bell on the neck and it was talking. Isn't that weird?

    -Yes Ma'am, it is weird, 'cause I know that cow, her name is Becky and she has no idea about cars. I'm pretty sure that she just guessed that it was the engine.

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